At first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Have you ever dedicated countless hours, weeks, months, or even years toward a goal? The patience, perseverance, and resilience involved in committing to a long-term goal is impressive, and it is truly the best feeling to achieve it and celebrate the work. But have you ever brought that level of dedication and still failed?
I know I have. I know several other high-achieving, goal-oriented people have too.
Caeleb Dressel, seven-time Olympic gold medalist and world record holder, shared on the Unfiltered Waters podcast with former Olympians Missy Franklin and Katie Hoff that he has experienced failure on multiple levels. On one level, he failed to achieve times or placements that would award him a certain title. On a deeper level, he failed by his own standards. Despite winning several gold medals in Tokyo, he still felt like he did not swim fast enough. He shared that this perfectionism created the belief that he had not trained hard enough and was a bad person. He goes on to discuss how he overcame it, learned to love the sport again, and how a happy swimmer is a fast swimmer.
As a sport psychologist, Caeleb's story stands out because it highlights one of the field's key challenges: pursuing excellence versus perfectionism.
Perfectionism is the belief that one must be perfect to be acceptable. It is black and white, and anything other than perfect is failure. Perfectionism is an attitude, not necessarily a behavior. Unlike perfectionism, pursuing excellence does not demand a sacrifice of self-worth, because it focuses on the process of achievement rather than the outcome alone. The difference lies in the thinking about the goal, not in the goal itself. Two people can chase the same Olympic gold medal, and one is pursuing excellence while the other is demanding perfection.
As Caeleb shared, perfectionism ultimately leads to unstable self-worth and mental health challenges, which then hurt performance. Pursuing excellence lets athletes and high achievers chase their dreams while maintaining integrity, no matter the outcome.
So try, try again. But I encourage you to try from a place of desire, fun, and intrinsic motivation rather than from fear and self-criticism. Pursue excellence, and be mindful of when perfectionistic tendencies arise. If they do, reach out for support. You are not alone in that experience, and there are many skills that can help you realign with your values.