Do you consider yourself a perfectionist or a high achiever? If so, you likely find yourself giving your all, yet rarely feeling completely satisfied.
I know perfectionism gets a bad rap, but it can be a powerful force. Your high-achieving nature has likely fueled numerous successes and given you an edge in your ambitions.
However, when perfectionism becomes maladaptive, it creates more harm than good. It leads to an endless pursuit of an unattainable ideal, fueled by a deep-seated belief that you are inherently unworthy until you achieve that elusive perfection.
Here is what I mean. Take this quote: you can never become perfect, and you are already perfect.
People in an adaptive perfectionistic mindset understand the truth in both statements. They recognize that humans are inherently imperfect and that true perfection is an illusion. They also embrace the inherent worth and wholeness of their being. They do not need to earn their value.
People in a maladaptive perfectionistic mindset reject both statements, and relentlessly pursue perfection at all costs, driven by the belief that their worth is contingent on achieving an unattainable standard.
If you find yourself in the maladaptive category, have no fear. You can transition to adaptive perfectionism. By cultivating a growth mindset, practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic goals, you can retain your drive and ambition while building a healthier relationship with yourself.
Here is one way to start. Ask yourself two questions whenever you are striving for a goal. First, how am I striving? Are you being flexible and adaptable in your approach? Are you honoring your values? Second, why am I striving? Are you driven by a desire to grow and learn, or by a need to prove your worth?
These questions help you identify whether your pursuit of excellence is aligned with your values and supported by a healthy sense of self-worth.
Reference: Schafler, K. M. (2023). The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. Portfolio.